Their Stories
Then and Now by Anonymous
I am not very different than the person I was. A person hidden and scared due to an unforgettable cause. I was damaged and heartbroken. Fear and pain of memories unspoken. I was a closed book, an empty shell. A secret I've harbored was mine, not wanting to tell. My past is dark; not so much my present. My memories are an emotional torment. I will not cry, I will not fall. My secrets buried but once in a while I hear them call. I try to ignore it when it starts to scream. Especially at night when I sleep and dream. How can I forget? It's forever with me. I've kept it concealed from others to see. But this is my reality and I need to make a choice. So I choose to break free and use my voice.
Young Love by Ann
I was 19 years old, a sophomore in college trying to figure out what do with my life...and met him. He was charismatic, a year older, witty, and loved by everyone. I thought, "Wow, he's super cute!" Time went on we talked and began dating. The 1st year was a dream. We enjoyed each other's company, partied on the weekends with friends like college students do. Into our 2nd year things changed, but for the worst. He began trying to take more control of my life. I tried keeping it a secret from my family, but they knew me too well. They noticed my demeanor had changed. I was no longer that happy go lucky girl who smiled and laughed a lot, who lived freely and did what she wanted. As time went on verbal abuse turned into physical abuse. I was pushed, choked, and things were thrown at me...my own textbooks his textbooks, anything he could find. One night things got extremely out of hand. He went red. He couldn't control his anger. I was dragged and kicked to the ground. I tried covering my face, but his hands overpowered mines and he was able to leave bruises on my face. I didn't report the incident right away, afraid to lose him and our relationship despite the fact my body and mind was violated. My family and coworkers helped me see the light, I needed to report it. Once I did, we never talked for a couple months due to a no contact order. In those two months I was able to find some of myself again and was able to focus on family and my career. Months later I met my now husband. I put him through a lot. I wasn't fully healed, wreckless, and lost. I wasn't looking for a Prince charming to save me, but he did and I thank God always for giving him to me. I still get nightmares time to time, but I wake up thankful that I survived. I am a survivor and that is enough to keep me going.
Free at Last by Lei
I was 16 and fell in love with a guy a year older than me. He had that “bad boy” persona that made me feel protected from the world. Little did I know, I needed to be protected from him. After only a few months of dating, he started controlling what I wore, who I talked to, who I hung out with, what I did and controlled my social media sites. Never thought anything of it but, “it’s because he loves me.” Being a Junior in high school, I wanted to hang out and go to parties with my friends but he didn’t let me. He threatened to break up with me or beat up my guy friends. After being together for about a year or so, we would fight almost daily. He’d flip out on me and turn things around and blame me for all of our fights. He played the pitty me game and would threaten to kill himself if I left him. So of course, I stayed. If I didn’t answer my phone, he would show up to my house late at night or early in the morning and yell to me through my window demanding I open the door for him. I snuck him in my house multiple times just because he thought there was another guy in the room with me. It wasn’t until about 2 1/2-3 years together when he started to abuse me physically. He’d grab me by my arms, pull me into the room or car, drag me by my hair around the house while kicking me on the ground. He’d push his head into mines forcing my head back. He’d drive recklessly on the freeways causing us to almost crash. Choked me, pushed my head into my car windows or held me against my will. He cheated on me multiple times and even gave me an STD from a time he cheated on me and blamed me for it saying I was the one fooling around. Luckily, it was curable. He has broken multiple cellphones of mines, punched and shattered my windshield, kicked and punched the fender of my car, threatened my family and treatened to hurt anyone that tried to help me. I was 19 years old when I tried to break up with him; that’s when he threatened to kill me. He said he was going to slice my throat and let me die. That is when I knew I had enough. I still cried for him, begged God to help him be a better person. After everything he had done, I still wanted to be with him even after I’ve said I had enough. My Dad took me to the police station where I filled a report of everything he had done to me. The next day I got a TRO. I went to numerous court hearings for the cases I had against him. I met someone else when I was 21 whom I almost ruined a relationship with because I was so brainwashed from my previous relationship. My heart needed to be repaired and my new boyfriend did just that. He has taught me to love and trust again. He has taught me to love myself, have confidence and feel beautiful again. I am now 26 and I do not regret the choices I made when I was with my ex. It sounds cliché, but I wouldn’t be the same person I am today if I didn’t go through what I went through. It has made me a stronger individual in many ways. For anyone who is dealing with abuse, it isn’t easy and it won’t get any easier if you stay. The sorries will be repeatitive and will mean nothing. Be strong and find yourself. Be true to yourself and know that you may think this is “love” but it isn’t. I promise you, you will find someone that is going to love you for who you really are and will treat you like a queen. You deserve go be free like me....
Experience by Mai
I dated a guy who was older than me. I thought it would allow for a more mature relationship and a happier life. I was wrong. In the beginning when he got upset he would become aggressive. I thought that was normal for guys so I wasn’t worried. 3 months into dating, I found out he cheated on me. While this crushed me. I always believed in second chances so I took him back. He then bought be a promise ring. I should have seen right through that, but I was immature and naive. A few months later the aggression became physical and I’ll never forgive myself for staying silent. It’s been over a year since I freed myself of the monster I allowed into my life and I am truly grateful for the experience as I feel it allowed me to mature into the woman I am today.