Chapter 2: Love at First Sight

Some say beware of love at first sight. I never believed that love at first sight was possible. Growing up my mother told me that love at first sight was only a myth and that true love has to blossom. Every time I met a handsome guy, my mother’s words would ring in my ears and caution would take over but somewhere deep inside the hopeless romantic in me wanted to believe that it was possible to fall in love at first sight. Being someone who had had my trust and innocence stolen at an early age from an abusive relationship only served to make me more cautious and afraid. 

But as the saying goes, love comes often when you least expect it. 

2016 was a very difficult year for me and my family. My grammy who has always been my rock and was a person I could always count on lost her battle to cancer. She was fighting for nine years and she fought so hard that at one point we all thought she was going to pull through. My grammy was the only teacher in my family and inspired me to follow my passion. In August 2016, I got hired for my first full time teaching job as a special education teacher. She was so proud of me and I told her I would call her on Friday to let her know how my first week went. Before that week ended, I got a call in the middle of the night that my grammy left this Earth. My heart has been broken before but never like this. I cried my eyes out and didn't know what to do. I felt lost and never thought this moment would come. I wanted to share so many more memories with my grammy. I wanted her to be there for when I would get married and have my first child. I told myself I wanted to win Miss Hawaii USA while she was still alive just so she could watch me reach my dreams. All of these life events are never going to happen and it breaks my heart to still think about it. The rest of the week was really hard for me because I didn't want to show my true feelings to my new coworkers and students. I have always been someone to keep my feelings to myself and hide behind a wall. 

One day, I was looking through ads on craigslist. My family and I always wanted to have a puppy but because my family was renting and we didn't own our own home we never thought about getting a pet. That year we bought our first house and I am a true believer in timing. On craigslist, I saw the cutest face I had ever seen. That is when I knew love at first sight was real. A miniature dachshund puppy was looking for a forever home. This is how Ruby became a part of our family. Ruby is so special to not only me but my entire family because during this time we were grieving and Ruby brought back hope into our lives. We were all drowning in sadness and we felt that we wouldn't be the same but coming home to the most loving little girl changed everything. We all were brought back together by one small 3 lb living creature. After long hard days of work trying to get back into my regular routine, I would come home to an innocent life and just remember that this little love bug looks at me like I am her whole entire world. Ruby was part of a healing process for our entire family. She brought us so much joy and coming from a big family, I understood the importance of having a sibling. Leaving Ruby to go teach every day was the hardest thing I had to do.

A few months later, we adopted Stella, an all black miniature dachshund. To have both of these beautiful girls in our lives really changed the environment of the household. There was less fighting, crying, and everyone finally started to smile again. 

If you personally know me, you know I love and am obsessed with miniature dachshunds. I think most people never knew why or never thought why I am a mother of three miniature dachshunds. It is not just because they have those long awkward bodies with short stubby legs or their floppy ears when they run to you. It is not just because they cuddle with you and give you all the love in the world. It truly was because they changed my life. I never knew what true love was until I became a mother. I love my dogs as if they were my own children and any dog owner would understand this. They are an important part of my life but sometimes I have to remember that I am their ENTIRE world. They healed and helped me cope with a traumatic event in my life. I am no longer depressed and my anxiety is gone. I can not thank God enough for his plan and timing he had for me and these babies. I know everyone heals from grief in a different way but my dogs are what healed me. I am so thankful to have them and I would say to anyone else out there grieving, if your heart is hurting maybe think about opening it up to a small fur baby of unconditional love.